Forgiveness in the Life of a Minister of the Gospel

Written by Rob Ratze

The importance of forgiveness in your life as a minister of the gospel is directly related to how dependent you are on the anointing and power of the Holy Spirit in your ministry. Failure or resistance to offering forgiveness grieves the Holy Spirit. Believers are warned not to cause sorrow to the Holy Spirit.

“Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity. … And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit.  You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate  to one another, forgiving  one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, 30-32 CSB)

Managing expectations is a big part of life and a key component of marital harmony. Unmet expectations communicates a lack of love or lack of care, and forgiveness becomes essential. Do not carry an offense–unforgiveness gives the devil a foothold in your marriage. Don’t waste your time and damage your heart by being offended–forgive quickly. Your inability to accept and offer forgiveness can block, stall, or even destroy intimacy and the ‘oneness’ that Jesus wants you to experience in your marriage––the same intimacy that He longs for us to have with Him. The lack of forgiveness, the holding of a grudge and resentment, can cause us to drift apart and live isolated lives––to the delight of the enemy of our souls. This lack of forgiveness is also a barrier to prayer and a hindrance to your relationship with God (see Mark 11:25 & 1 Peter 3:7). Jesus clearly and emphatically taught the importance of forgiveness. He taught us to pray:

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.“ (Matthew 6:12)

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive you.” (Matthew 6:14,15)

Why is this so strongly stated? God is all about relationships. He has made a way for us, through His Son Jesus, to be reconciled to the Father, and then reconciled to each other through our union with Christ. The Lord bestows His blessing when His people live together in unity (Psalm 133:1-3). Lack of forgiveness destroys relationships.

“Disappointment on one side and guilt on the other, mix to create a powerful saboteur of spiritual intimacy.” (Dr. Les Parrott)

Celebrate Recovery’s Lesson on Forgiveness states: “Along the path to healing lies forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t settle all the questions of blame, justice, or fairness, but it does allow relationships to heal and be restored. Giving and accepting forgiveness enables you to become fully freed from your hurt, resentment, and/or anger and allows you to move forward positively in your relationship with your spouse. There are no limits to forgiveness. Forgiveness sets you free. Forgiveness is all about letting go. Remember playing tug-of-war as a kid? As long as the people on each end of the rope are tugging, you have a war. You ‘let go of your end of the rope’ when you forgive others. No matter how hard they may tug on their end, if you have released your end, the war is over.” (Rick Warren and John Baker)

When you forgive your spouse from your heart, you forgive without expecting anything in return. The apostle Paul instructed the believers in Ephesus to:

“get rid of all bitterness and anger––Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Eph. 4:32)

Christ died on the cross that we may be healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Instead of living with hurt and bitterness, we can replace that hurt and bitterness with the freedom and peace that Jesus makes possible. I pray that you and your spouse will grow in intimacy and oneness with each other and with your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.